Everyone knows that Christmas wouldn’t be the same without a Turkey. We have one every year and it really makes the day special. Here’s 5 reasons why everyone needs a big ass Turkey on the table….
They are great table talkers
One thing you will never be short of with a Turkey is good conversation. From chats about the weather, to deeper thoughts about the state of Brexit and how Honey G was the biggest pile of shit to ever grace the X Factor, it’s going to be an interesting dinner all round.
They love their food
Wether it be a selection of your best veggies, a luscious nut-roast or even a bag of ready salted walkers crisps, they are going to literally ‘Gobble’ it down with no issues what-so-ever. Don’t expect there to be any bombay mix left, they love that shit!
They bloody love party games
As well as being epic at charades, black-jack, monopoly, backgammon, trivial pursuit, quasar, professional flatland bmx, lacrosse and strip poker, they enjoy getting outside for a kick around with kids as well while you stay inside getting hammered.
They always arrive looking awesome
Unlike uncle John who always looks like he’s been on a month-long crack binge, Turkeys always make the effort to look great for christmas day and really do set a high standard. Turkey swag is guaranteed
They always appreciate the invite
With over 10 million Turkeys getting killing and cooked for xmas dinner in the UK alone, they get pretty fed up with people inviting them around to eat their body parts for some stupid tradition, so always appreciate a genuine chance to get to chill and enjoy the christmas cheer like everyone else.
Even if you can’t invite a Turkey round, do them a favour and just eat something that doesn’t involve dead bodies. They will appreciate it. For tips on how to ditch animal products, check out our How To Go Vegan page!
Give Tofurky a try this Christmas. Or make your own combo….
Is the advert below not vegan? Let us know and we will block their asses!