“Steal my guitar and I will end you!”
Hello you bunch of filthy tofu loving hippies and welcome to our brand new vegan site…..Bacon!
So I’m guessing the first question that we need to get out-of-the-way is, “Why the hell has a vegan site named themselves Bacon?! Surely that makes the site non-vegan?! Is this an Alanis Morrisette ‘Ironic’ kind of situation?” (that joke will be lost on anyone under 28). Well, let’s dive right in and find out shall we…
So let’s get real for just a second, bacon is NOT actually an animal – mind blown! It’s actually just a euphemism used because people don’t want to use the term “dead pig flesh”; no one wants that on their conscious. So that being the case we thought, “F**k it, we are taking the word back! You’re just using it for shit reasons so screw you all. Vegans now own the word bacon and there is nothing you can do about it!”. Yes, we are stealing the word bacon. No longer is bacon the go-to insult for the non-vegan who can’t think of a good excuse, or a word for bits of dead piggy – cue boo’s – it’s now a humorous, slightly sarcastic, bit shit, yet always educational vegan website who you can now tag or link to anytime someone says “bacon!”.
You: “Can people stop killing the animals please”
Idiot: “Mmmm Bacon!”
You: “Oh you read Bacon too? You must be vegan?”
You: “Animal agriculture is the main cause of deforestation”
Idiot: “But bacon is so good!”
You: “Yes bacon is my favourite website too but that doesn’t change the fact that Animal agriculture is the main cause of deforestation”
You: “Anyone else hate Robbie Williams ‘Angels’?”
Idiot: “But bacon…..”
You: “WTF are you talking about you mentalist! Bacon’s a vegan website? Nothing to do with Robbie!”
Get the idea? Not only do we combat that, but you will also have a whole ton of content from us to either use as ammo, to educate, to make you laugh when you need a pick-up or maybe just to lock yourself in a bathroom with for 5-10 minutes – what you get up to is your own business!
So enough of me chatting rubbish, go have a look at some stuff, go like us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Subscribe to our YouTube Channel and rejoice at the fact that this will be a safe place away from craziness of human society and the idiocy of 75% of the Vegan UK Facebook group – *shudders*.
And if your here and not vegan already….sort your shit out mate! Check out the How To Go Vegan guide and join our weird cult where we live off grass, don’t get any protein and have no vitamin B12. It’s pretty awesome.
Hug a pig, stroke a cow, feed a chicken, be nice to a fish, love all the animals, don’t eat the animals and tell all your friends how awesome bacon actually now is.
Is the advert below not vegan? Let us know and we will block their asses!